August 30, 2004

Czeslaw Milosz

I would be reading more of this Polish poet. Here's a sample of his work.

IF THERE IS NO GOD

If there is no God,
Not everything is permitted to man.
He is still his brother's keeper
And he is not permitted to sadden his brother,
By saying that there is no God.


eyed at 9:07 PM

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August 24, 2004

viral infection

I had been wishing to get sick so that I would have a legitimate reason to be away from the office, and I got it. I was down with flu and coughing almost incessantly the past week. I haven't been that sick for years that being ill felt so depressing. I was cold, every muscle of my body was in pain, and I can't sleep long without being awakened by my itching cough. Indeed, let's be careful for what we are wishing for for we might get it.

eyed at 6:30 PM

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color in a gray cube

eyed at 4:39 PM

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August 11, 2004

on being burnt-out

i am a 29-year old gender and development advocate working in a women's commission in the Philippines. After more than four years of helping make gender and development institutionalized and advanced in government life, I just found myself tired. I don't know when it started but it just dawned on me one ordinary day that I'm tired. I wonder why do I feel such?

Maybe because of the nature of my job? I deal with government people,hence, a diplomatic approach must be applied when it comes to 'selling' the gender perspective to them. I feel that it's too sanitized. Also,in my work, I don't necessarily or directly see the women who would hopefully benefit from my efforts ?instead, I just look forward to an abstract process being completely transformed for women's interests.

I believe in the beauty of a vision where governments would really work for women's empowerment and gender equality and where a quality life would be achieved through gender-responsive development, but sometimes,the 'given defects' of government, such as the lack of a clear accountabilities or monitoring mechanisms in which gender is supposed to be mainstreamed,are just hard to ignore.

Maybe, my understanding that my office is understaffed (in the
bureacracy, the women's commission is marginalized if it would not make itself felt) and that I also enjoyed doing my tasks just make this tiredness more throbbing.

Isn't it that when you love what you're doing, you're supposed to be
inspired and ignited rather than burnt-out? Or am I just too idealistic? Or maybe, it's possible that you still believe in your
cause, but you're just tired -- no, not cynical, but simply tired.

eyed at 6:52 PM

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